


avouer

by 10tacles



Series: exo kinktober 2k17 [3]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-03
Updated: 2017-10-03
Packaged: 2019-01-08 17:38:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12258969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/10tacles/pseuds/10tacles
Summary: The years passed and Junmyeon wasn’t sure where the time had gone, what had happened to his tiny maknae, the scrawny kid who was clumsy from too long limbs.





	avouer

**Author's Note:**

> **prompt: size difference**

When Junmyeon met Sehun he’d been nothing more than a scrawny kid with dreams of becoming a star.  He hadn’t grown into his body yet, all long, gangly limbs and over-eager smiles.  Junmyeon had been protective of him back then; ‘ _tell hyung if you have any problems,_ ’ he’d chimed, and Sehun’s resounding shy smile had been blinding.  He was such a charismatic boy, always doing what he could for the approval of his hyungs, his future members.  He wasn’t the quickest learner, but Junmyeon, his Junmyeon hyung was always there to silently help him along.

It was safe.  It was familiar.  It wasn’t supposed to ever become anything else.

Junmyeon watched him grow up, fondly ruffling Sehun’s hair when he finally surpassed his height.  ‘ _You weren’t supposed to grow taller than hyung, Sehunnie.  You were supposed to stay small, compact’._ Sehun always teased Junmyeon about his height, lots of ‘ _my tiny hyung_ ’s and ‘ _my small leader_ ’s.  Despite the fact that he grew taller - and broader - than Junmyeon, he was always still the baby of the group, the baby that everyone doted on.

But above all he was Junmyeon hyung’s maknae.  Always Junmyeon hyung’s.

The eras passed and the schedules were grueling.  When they debuted they had no idea they would amass such popularity.  Junmyeon and Sehun sometimes collapsed into their respective beds, muscles screaming from dance practice, waiting for their turns to shower.  ‘ _You wanted to become a star, Sehunnie.  You did it.  Are you proud?’_

_‘Are you proud of me, hyung?’_

_‘Always.’_

The years passed in a frenzy.  Award shows, acting gigs, solo activities.  The years passed and Junmyeon wasn’t sure where the time had gone, what had happened to his tiny maknae, the scrawny kid who was clumsy from too long limbs.

They dragged their suitcases into their hotel room in Paris, tired after a long flight.  Sehun had been asked to come to Paris Fashion Week for Louis Vuitton’s show, and Junmyeon had tagged along simply for the memories, because he could.  They were both exhausted, but Sehun’s eyes were bright with excitement, twinkling in anticipation; this was the result of years of hard work, of dreaming, of clawing his way up.

Junmyeon looked at him.   _Really_ looked at him.

So much taller.  So much broader.  So much more handsome.

Sehun turned, seemingly sensing Junmyeon’s eyes on him.  He met the older man’s gaze, eyebrows quirking questioningly, almost concerned.  “You okay?  Tired?”  The timbre of Sehun’s voice had grown so deep, and though Junmyeon had been there, had watched Sehun grow, he’d somehow missed these changes, too subtle for him to pick up over time.  Junmyeon finally forced his eyes away, swallowing down the feelings; he turned to his own bed and dragged his suitcase up, digging around for his skincare products and his pajamas.

“Yeah.  I’m just tired.”

The phantom feeling of Sehun’s gaze made the skin at the back of his neck tingle.  He pointedly ignored it, picking up his things before heading to the bathroom to shower and get ready for bed.  When he walked out, towel-dried and fresh faced, Sehun gave him a long look before taking his own things into the bathroom.

He didn’t sleep well that night.  Or the next.  Or the next.

They saw the sights together, did all of the touristy stuff they were supposed to do, bought overpriced things to bring home to their friends and the other members; but Junmyeon kept a close distance from Sehun, shut himself down, didn’t want to think that this gangly kid he’d helped shape into an idol was now a much less gangly adult who’d grown into that awkwardly long-limbed body.  If Sehun noticed the lack of affection and attention, he didn’t say anything; he still beamed at Junmyeon, pointed out ugly knick-knacks that they _had_ to buy to torment the others, knocked their arms together as they walked.

They’d come back after a long day out on the Parisian streets, arms full of clothing they’d bought on their last day.  Sehun had flopped down on Junmyeon’s bed and was checking his phone, tapping something out on his screen and paying no attention as the older man started to painstakingly pack his things back into his suitcase.  “Hyung.”  Junmyeon tensed, then relaxed as if remembering that he didn’t want to alarm Sehun, let him know anything was wrong.  “Did I do something?”

When Junmyeon slowly glanced up, Sehun looked at him like a kicked puppy, hurt evident in his eyes.

“You’ve been acting weird since we landed.  Did I say something?  Hyung, are you mad at me for borrowing your charger on the plane?”  Sehun’s lip wobbled, and Junmyeon could see the sheen of tears in his eyes; the guilt that weighed heavy in his chest was nearly unbearable.  “I thought I would wait to see if it went away, but it isn’t.  I just want to know what I did.”

“You didn’t do anything, Sehun.”  The maknae recoiled as if slapped.   _Sehun_ , not _Sehunnie_.  Of course he’d notice the difference.  “I just…”  Junmyeon curled his fingers in the shirt he was folding, clenching his hands into fists.  “When did you get so big?  Where did the time go?  I remember watching you grow up, but I never noticed just how big you got.  It feels like yesterday that you were just a kid--”

Sehun sat up abruptly, and his eyes were suddenly too bright, too sharp.  “I’m an adult, hyung.”  His tone was equally as sharp, and as if realizing the tone he’d taken with Junmyeon he softened, curling his fingers in the bedspread.  “Don’t call me a kid.  I haven’t been a kid for years now.”

Junmyeon turned and watched him, and Sehun met his gaze, didn’t break it.  The maknae squared his shoulders as if to punctuate the fact that he wasn’t a kid, and Junmyeon couldn’t ignore the pang of want that coiled in his belly like a spring being wound up.  He wasn’t supposed to think of Sehun like this, wasn’t supposed to _feel_ this.

_I haven’t been a kid for years now._

“You weren’t supposed to be taller than me.  You weren’t supposed to… _fuck_.”  Junmyeon threw down the shirt and put up his hands in exasperation.  “You were supposed to just stay as my maknae, Sehunnie.  Things weren’t supposed to be this complicated.”

Realization dawned on Sehun’s face.  “Hyung?”  When Junmyeon looked at Sehun, looked at the sudden understanding there, it felt like he’d touched a hot stove.  He flinched, looking away.  “Hyung.”  This time the tone was different, less questioning and more consoling.  Sehun slipped off the bed and onto the floor next to where Junmyeon still sat in front of his open luggage.  Slowly, almost as if he were trying not to startle a wild animal, Sehun slid his hand into Junmyeon’s, lacing their fingers and squeezing; even his hands were so much bigger than Junmyeon remembered.

“I’ve wanted you to stop thinking of me as a kid for a long time,” Sehun mumbled, rubbing his thumb across Junmyeon’s knuckles.  “Hyung, I’ve…”  He licked his lips, and Junmyeon noticed the flush that dusted his cheeks, painting his skin pink.  “Why do you think I always asked if you were proud of me?”  The gears slowly turned in Junmyeon’s head.  Sehun’s flush deepened.  “I didn’t want to… to ruin this.  I didn’t want you to be distant.  I didn’t want to lose my favorite hyung to some crush.”

They were both silent for a moment.  Sehun’s grip on the older man’s hand tightened, and something about the hopeful look on his face just absolutely shattered Junmyeon, took his resolve and ripped it to shreds.  He let out a shuddering breath, skirting his free hand over the sharp jut of Sehun’s jaw, the pad of his thumb sliding across Sehun’s plump lower lip.  “Sehunnie,” he breathed, voice almost too quiet to hear, “can I kiss you?”

The younger man beamed back at him and didn’t bother answering.  He closed the distance himself, his lips meeting Junmyeon’s with little preamble; Sehun’s grip on his hand was nearly crushing.  Junmyeon sighed against Sehun’s mouth, peppering his cheeks, lips, and chin with kisses while he carded his fingers through his cropped hair.  “You know this won’t be easy,” Junmyeon murmured, feeling Sehun shudder as he pressed a kiss to the corner of his jaw.

“It never _has_ been easy.  But we both made it this far.”  Sehun’s eyes were practically twinkling, and he smiled as he toppled Junmyeon over, wrapping his too-long limbs around him.  “There isn’t anyone else I would rather have, hyung.  I promise.”

**Author's Note:**

> so... this is kinktober, and this fic is cheating a lil bit since it's just plain fluff and not even explicit but i don't care tbh i saw "size difference" and i was like wow that's seho 
> 
> more than likely all of the other fics will be pretty rated so let me have this one fluffy one


End file.
